As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
