His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Green mimosas i think yes
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
