some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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