you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
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