I can't breathe out the right side of my face
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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