Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Of course I have a pirate flag
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
