Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize