wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
