This is not my ceiling
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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