Pappa wants mamma naked
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
