hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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