Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
