i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
