i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
it's like iHOP with fire
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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