I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
