I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize