omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I just blew my weed a kiss
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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