I like to think it a success when the cops are called
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Randomize
