Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Randomize