please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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