U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
