Christians are straight up FREAKS
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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