Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
She even gives head with a lisp.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
