I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
