hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
