I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Welp...herpes.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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