What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize