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...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
