So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
