Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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