this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
