it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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