Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
two words...techno handjob
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
