Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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