just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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