Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
