I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
