What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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