Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
