I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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