i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
