Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
