So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
not ubering you a puppy
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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