I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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