I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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