That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I still have a little drunk in my system
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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