we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
