when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Randomize
