if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
i need some magic done to my vagina
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
