we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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