You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
