YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
