She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
