ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
