I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Randomize
