Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
