Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
