ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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