oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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