then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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