I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
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Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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