i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
